A New Chapter?
So once again, I'm in between coasts and really don't know where life will take me, but I guess it's pretty exciting.This afternoon, I went out to lunch with my mom at a local cafe. She kind of tricked me. I thought we were going to go to the larger Cheesecake Factory because I've had an overwhelming and unexplainable craving for pasta for the last few days. But when I got in the car, she demanded we go some place more local. Okay.. I guess it was a misunderstanding. For me, going to local restaurants in my hometown is kind of torture. I really don't need to make small talk with people my mother knows from town. And I really don't need to be introduced as the "older daughter" only to get mistaken for a recent high school graduate. I kid you not. This happens every time. Actually, today's experience was so typical I could have just had deja vu.
SCENE ONELet me set the scene for you. We enter a nearly full cafe mostly filled with people over 50. My mother and I sit down right smack in the middle of two tables that are only about a foot apart from us. Right away, she says hello to the table next to us, introducing me.. blah blah blah. They make small talk. Two minutes later, she recognizes the woman on her other side. They make small talk. She congratulates the woman because she had recently heard her son was engaged. I ask who her son is. She says that I'm probably too young and don't know him. Yup. Her son is 5 years younger than me and is friends with a childhood friend's younger brother. I don't know him because he's younger than me. She apologizes for the mistake and the whole table nods in agreement that I'm better off looking way younger than I am.END SCENE
SCENE TWOAfter dropping my mother off, I head to the Riverside Square Mall to return a few things. It is incredibly upscale and usually quiet although to my delight, they have recently opened an H&M. I walk around admiring the hair of an Orthodox woman who is, from what I gather, shopping with her husband. She looks incredibly young and I try to figure out how she got her hair to be so thick and shiny with a near professional blow out until I realize, oh yeah, it's a wig. Orthodox women have to shave their heads and wear wigs when they get married. A few minutes later, I enter Victoria's Secret where I hear the Pains of Being Pure at Heart playing in the store. I'm stunned. One of the band members went to both my high school and college. In fact, one time sophomore year in high school, we both got yelled at because we slid out my bedroom window and hung out on my roof. According to my dad, we could have fallen through and broken the roof. Right. END SCENE
SCENE THREEI make my last stop at Barnes & Noble. I would have preferred waiting to purchase a new Moleskin at Borders assuming they carry them and they go on sale, but my Moleskin needs were pressing. As many of my friends know, I'm obsessed with notebooks. I stare at the selections, intensely imagining myself with either a hard covered or soft covered black Moleskin. Red or black. I curse myself for leaving my hard covered, black Moleskin in San Francisco and finally settle on a perfect replacement - soft covered black. My obsessiveness in finding the perfect notebook ties back to a need to start a new chapter in my life. If, God forbid, I made the wrong notebook choice, my new life would be off to a wrong start, right? Yes, knowing my compulsions and quarks in the first step to recovery. It takes me another 10 minutes to choose the perfect Thank You note cards for my job interviews. I finally settle on a delicate case of cards that feature an Eiffel Tower with a scripted "merci" in magenta. So here I am entering a new chapter of my life - a potential new job, definitely a different area of advertising, a new decade (30 in April), potentially a new apartment and even new city (Brooklyn). But on my journey, I have equipped myself with the same type of notebook that I used to plan out my change. The cards I chose reflect my love of Paris and magenta. And actions told me that our purchases strongly reflect who we are in deeper and nuanced ways.END SCENE
SCENE FOURAfter carefully selecting my purchases, I head to the cash register. With a sinking feeling, I recognize the woman at the register. I vaguely remember her being my boss at some job I had about 10 years ago. For some reason, I hope she doesn't recognize me, but she does. She says my face looks so familiar. I completely get her wrong even though I rarely try to guess people's name. Her name is not Dorothy and she's not my boss from Clinique. Nope. She worked with me at B. Dalton, the now defunct bookstore, previously owned by Barnes and Noble. It was one of my first after school jobs that I insisted on getting my senior year of high school. It's where I first heard about Harry Potter way back in 1999 when they were considered just children's books. It's where I first worked in a place that didn't involve sweating in a camp t-shirt. And here she was, working the cash register. Like me, she has probably gone through many hardships and experiences over the last 12 years but honestly hadn't aged a bit. The recent New York Times article about the failings of the publishing industry flashed in my mind. I think about how strongly I'm contemplating finally purchasing a Kindle. We both genuinely smile and wish each other well. As I walk away, I wonder, is this a new chapter? Or am I re-reading a different version of the same story?END SCENE
Mischief The Cat
I'll be the first to admit that Mischief the cat is a bit strange.
[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/18855048 w=400&h=300]
Mischief Taking a Walk: Extended Version from Molly A on Vimeo.
My Brief Rant Against Baby Boomers
Or maybe just my parents...
I just had to give my parents a lecture on why they should unplug their electronics when not in use. We live in a liberal town. My parents never questioned global warming. They recycle. BUT - I almost think that they are TRYING to waste electricity. Or maybe they just don't know. Freaking baby boomers. They've had all the fun. They had the Beatles... when all four were alive. They had Free Love with No AIDS. Drugs were okay, well at least until they figured out the long-term effects. And danced to DISCO! They had the glutenous 80's. They had the first tech boom. And I ask them to do one freaking simple thing. Unplug your computer before you go to sleep! Unplug the freakin air conditioner that's not in use 9 months of the year. Is it really necessary for me to spell out exactly what vampire power means? Do I have to argue with you on this? Oh yeah.. save electricity. Same the environment, cause you know... my children are going to be on this earth, and my children's children and I'm sure they'd like all the same benefits and resources that you've had.. except maybe.. even better.
okay. I'm done.
P.S. I entirely admit that this is a perfect shit storm caused by finishing an awesome program in an amazing, environmentally friendly city - to officially entering the world of the unemployed while temporarily living at home with my parents in NJ where it's at least 30 degrees colder than San Francisco. Phew.. breathing.. deeply.
We Interrupt This Program
I interrupt my resume-revising, manifesto-writing, presentation-preparation, and contemplation of why there are only 24 hours in the day to bring you this video. That's PJS!
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3iFhLdWjqc?fs=1&hl=en_US&w=540&h=285]
Cats Running Around Ikea
A little something to make you smile on this lovely Friday.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCB7RqGS684?fs=1&hl=en_US&w=540&h=285]
Hysterical & Fairly Accurate via The Onion
8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live
'We're Getting The Hell Out Of This Sewer,' Entire Populace Reports
Within 90 minutes, the borough of Brooklyn had completely cleared out With audible murmurs of "This is no way to live," "What the hell am I doing here—I hate it here," and "Fuck this place. Fuck this horrible place," all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness.
By 5:15 p.m. there was gridlock traffic on the outbound sides of the Holland and Lincoln tunnels, and the area's three major airports were flooded with New Yorkers, all of whom said they wanted to go anyplace where the pressure of 20 million tons of concrete wasn't constantly suffocating them.
"I always had this perverted sense of pride because I was managing to scrape by here," said Brooklyn resident Andrew McQuade, who, after watching two subway rats gnawing on a third bloody rat carcass, finally determined that New York City was a giant sprawling cancer. "Well, fuck that. I don't need to pay $2,000 a month to share a doghouse-sized apartment with some random Craigslist dipshit to prove my worth. I want to live like a goddamn human being."
"You see this?" added McQuade, pointing at a real estate listing for a duplex in Hagerstown, MD. "Two bedrooms, two baths, a den—a fucking den—and a patio. Twelve hundred a month. That's total, not per person."
According to residents, the mass exodus was triggered by a number of normal, everyday New York City events. For Erin Caldwell of Manhattan, an endlessly honking car horn sent her over the edge, causing her to go into a blind rage and scream "shut up!" at the vehicle as loud as she could until her voice went hoarse; for Danny Tremba of Queens it was being cursed at for walking too slow; and for Paul Ogden, also of Queens, it was his overreaction to somebody walking too slow.
Other incidents that prompted citizens to pick up and leave included the sight of garbage bags stacked 5 feet high on the sidewalk; the realization that being alone among millions of anonymous people is actually quite horrifying; a blaring siren that droned on and fucking on; muddy, refuse-filled puddles that have inexplicably not dried in three years; the thought of growing into a person whose meanness and cynicism is cloaked in a kind of holier-than-thou brand of sarcasm that the rest of the world finds nauseating; and all the goddamn people.
In addition, 3 million New Yorkers reportedly left the city because they realized the phrase "Only in New York" is actually just a defense mechanism used to convince themselves that seeing a naked man take a shit on a park bench is somehow endearing, or part of some shared cultural experience.
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Slideshow
"I was sitting on my stoop, drinking coffee, and out of nowhere this crazy-looking woman just starts screaming, 'I am inside all of you,' over and over," Bronx resident Sarah Perez, 37, said. "Then, we both had this moment where we looked at each other and realized, okay, we have to get out of here."
"This place sucks," Manhattan resident Woody Allen, 74, told reporters. "It just fucking sucks."
When fleeing New Yorkers were asked if they would miss the city's iconic landmarks, most responded that Central Park is just a pathetic excuse for experiencing actual nature, that the Brooklyn Bridge is great but it's just a fucking bridge, that nobody goes to the Met anyway, and that living in a dingy, grime-caked apartment while exhaust fumes from an idling truck seep through your bedroom window isn't worth slightly bigger bagels.
"This is no place to raise a kid, that's for sure," said 32-year-old Brandon Rushing, a lifelong New Yorker. "I grew up here and I turned into a giant asshole. Why would I want that for my son?"
"Plus, we're the place most likely to get nuked by a dirty bomb in a terrorist attack," he added. "So that's great. Also, it smells like shit here, and I'm not exaggerating. You'll just be walking around and it starts smelling like human shit, and it just fills your nostrils and you breathe in shit for like 20 seconds."
Before departing by private helicopter, Mayor Michael Bloomberg spoke with members of the media to address the situation.
"You know what the greatest city in the world is?" Bloomberg asked reporters. "Scottsdale, Arizona. It's clean, it's not too big, it's got a couple streets with shops and restaurants, and the people there aren't fucking insane. This place is fucking insane. And by the way, that's not a reason to like it. Anyone who says that is a delusional dirtbag."
By Tuesday night, New York was completely abandoned. At press time, however, some 10 million Los Angeles–area residents, tired of their self-centered, laid-back culture and lack of four distinct seasons, and yearning for the hustle and bustle of East Coast life, had already begun repopulating the city.
Advice from a Fortune Cookie
I've finally gotten to packing/throwing out the little things in my apartment including a pile of fortune cookie fortunes.
Some good advice:
A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else.
(err.. who wants to help me carry boxes downstairs on Friday?)
Love yourself first and everything falls into line.
(word)
Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed.
(True dat. Change is good. Take a risk)
If you have no critics you'll likely have no success.
(negative commentors - don't get any ideas)
A small gift can bring joy to the whole family.
(my address is.... )
It's tough to be fascinating.
(Hey! Pay attention to me - I'm blogging here)
And that, folks will be my last post from East 66th Street and hopefully the Upper East Side.
Totally Self Indulgent Post & Reflections
I seemed to have forgotten that this is my PERSONAL blog.. so I'm going to try and take it back to its roots. This has been an interesting and productive day for the most part. I worked in the morning, and met with a fellow blogger/ Twitter friend for coffee. Hello Twitter friends! Wow. I can't stress enough how rewarding it is to make new connections in the most random ways. Like on Sunday, for instance, I made new friends while photographing people on the street and waiting for the Second Avenue bus in the rain.
I digress.
After walking half the length of Manhattan (long story), I met up with a few of my good friends. Actually, it was kind of awesome. They were all friends from different areas of my life who finally got to meet each other. We had 2 people with the same last name (unrelated) and two people with nearly the same first name. It would have been even more awesome if I wasn't so distracted by the fact that I ran into my ex AGAIN. If that weren't a weird enough coincidence, another friend who I haven't seen in years showed up at the restaurant to order takeout. More oddly still, he has the same name as my OTHER friend who I was hoping could have came, but who happened to be having dinner with my other ex boyfriend. You don't really need to follow all of that. I think the point is that New York is getting too small for me. Especially with my ability to spot familiar faces after seeing them for only a nano second.
Being that I'm moving in a week from the Upper East Side (holy cow! Freaking out! In denial about packing!), I thought it was appropriate that I reflected on where I was about a year ago before I moved Uptown. At the time, I was sick of the downtown crowds. Was going out way too much and eating the amazing fast food of the East Village. Post from last year: "Short story long, if it's not already obvious, I'm really looking forward to moving. There is no question that I need to change my lifestyle and develop more healthy habits. And a move is the fresh start that I obviously need. I can't wait to regularly run in Central Park, cook healthy meals with more than 4 inches of counter space, develop buns of steel from my 5th story walk up, NOT regularly stop at Criff Dog, Ray's Pizza, Pinkberry, Red Mango, etc. on my way home, save money, not stop at Solas... and get serious about applying to a master's program this fall. So yeah, feel free to hold me accountable and I'll happily entertain you with my progress. Maybe even be an inspiration.. but yeah, I may miss Pheobe the cat."
So where am I now, you ask? Well.. I still go out to eat way too much but can count on my fingers (and toes) how many times this year I've gone on a 5am, Solas bender. But I can also count the same number of times I've gone running in Central Park. I don't eat Red Mango or Pinkberry anymore mainly because I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. Eesh. Might have used up the enzymes on those treats! No Masters programs but at least I'm going to a "boot camp" in San Francisco in the Fall. Overall, I have changed a lot and I guess matured in my ways. And I'd have to say that I've probably experienced more changes while living on East 66th street than any other 1 year period in my life. It has been quite the roller coaster. One of the benefits of having only lived in an apartment for a year is that I'm not sentimental. Yes, I'll miss Java Girl, will miss my roommate, will miss my sunlit room (long pause.. awkward whistle...) BUT.. that's about it! On to the next adventure!
This post brought to you by procrastination: attempt #652 at working on my novel.
Hi My Name Is Molly
And I'm in the NY Post today! Not terribly thrilled about the main picture but I like this one. Yes. Hello Badonkadonk in Mark Ruffalo's face.
Cards on the Table
My life is getting to be something out of a movie. Definitely a comedy. This is totally embarrassing but I'll repeat the story anyway. On Sunday, I prepared for a run - first time running in a few weeks. I had just popped a small zit. Come on.. we all have them. And had a big blotchy red spot on my cheek. I thought it over for a minute. Do I cover it up? Will I run into anyone on the East River towards Carl Schurz Park? And a thought flashed in my mind. What if I ran into my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend (well at least I think he has a new GF). Then thought.. no, that would be ridiculous. So I headed out, realizing that eventually my whole face would be red from running. Mind you, I've had a fantastic few days so I think part of my thinking was just "fuck it." I'm going to San Francisco in October and got into an advertising program that I worked very hard to get into. I've been meeting some super duper awesome people lately and putting myself into good situations. These last few weeks/months have been the best I've had in years - I believe. I digress.
While on my walk over the bridge (presumably still with red blotch) some cute guy smiled at me. I'm assuming it was a flirtatious smile. So I thought.. okay, what ever has been going on with me has made me appealing even while sweaty and in running shorts. I pushed myself for a mile then walked through Carl Schurz Park. And then I saw him. My ex boyfriend. Alone - thank god. With a sketchbook. I stopped. Turned around and considered walking the other way. Then realized it was too late and that he saw me and that we'd have to talk. I threw up my hands in mock frustration and then walked towards him. We talked. It was awkward. I didn't tell him how amazing my life has been lately. And how I was radiating with happiness. Instead, I cut the conversation short and told him I'd be heading the other way, continuing my run. And then I ran like the wind. As cheesy as this seems. I ran like I was free, out of joy. Out of awesomeness. We met by running into each other essentially three days in a row (after having met eight months prior). While we were dating, we ran into each other on the subway. And now it's totally over and we ran into each other again. I believe in fate, but in this case, all I see is that there was a beginning, middle and an end.
Good night!
Woohoo!
Woohoo! My photo won 3rd place in the July Contest. Yeah.. there's more where that came from - I'm sure.
Happy Monday!
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8WiyX21A1c&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1&w=640&h=385]
Only In New York... Or Hollywood?
This evening, I was sitting outside the cafe across from my apartment in an empty chair surrounded by two older men (regulars). I had 15 minutes to kill before meeting a friend for dinner. A slightly younger man, probably in his late 40's, energetically greeted them and pronounced that he was just at the Tony's, proudly displaying his picture of Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet. He went on to tell them about various celebrity gatherings and I added that I heard Scarlett sang karaoke at the Cornerstone Tavern on 51st and 2nd avenue on Sunday. Eventually I couldn't resist and asked him how he managed to have all these celebrity filled adventures. He told me that he was the son of a famous iconic advertising character (will not mention who just in case he's legit) and that he has a charity that introduces him to all these people.
The next thing I knew, there were random drops of water coming from above the awning. The regular informed us a crazy man living above Java Girl, on the 6th floor of course, frequently poured water on the patrons because he was annoyed they were so loud. I told the crew about my crazy man who lived above me on the 6th floor and my flooding issue. Wow.. weird similarity. And then.. the next thing I knew.. there was smoke coming from two buildings away from the cafe. Total classic bystander phenomenom. About ten of us stood there wondering if someone should stop their conversation and call 911 but then realized the fire department was already on their way. Our focus came back to the conversation. Old Hollywood glamour guy who informed us that his book was about to get published and had the seal of approval from Oprah. So he was going to go from total obscurity to celebrity come the holidays and the book is named after a Rennaissance Italian artist. "Has he ever been to Florence?" I ask.. and so the conversation continues. Finally, it is time for me to go - to which he proclaims that "that's what these young girls do - you fall in love with them and then they leave."
End Scene. Just a typical day in New York City.
I Guess I Sort of Love New York Again
I wanted to thank everyone again for their kind words and support. Yesterday was ROUGH but I'm lucky that I live close enough to my family that I was able to spend time with them. Oscar is now resting next to my childhood cats in my parent's backyard. I still miss him and think about him but know it will take time to move on. I'm glad I'm leaving this apartment soon. Thomas is sitting on my lap as I write this, more loving and cuddly than ever. I hope he's okay. Oscar pretty much annoyed the crap out of him for the most part but I'm sure he loved him anyway just like I did.
I'm not religious but the pastor of the church I attend twice a year is extremely interesting, insightful and intelligent so I was thinking of stopping by his office to discuss my thoughts over the last few days. As I was exiting the subway at 53rd and Lex, I ran into him. We talked about Oscar and loss.. and forgiveness. And I asked him if in his experience speaking with people who are going through hardships - if he thought everything happens for a reason. His response was that he doesn't think that's the case but that we can learn from our experiences no matter what. So I guess I've learned that you can never be too careful, that my friends, family and community will be there for me when things go seriously sour and.. I learned what it's like to experience loss and get through it. My pastor said that in his 61 years on this earth, he feels that our current time has been the hardest in history - economically, politically and environmentally and that it's okay to feel down but that we'll get through it. I guess it was upsetting to hear that but I also felt relieved with the knowledge that things have to get better in the world.. and that perhaps I will only experience this time of overall suckiness once in my lifetime.
On a lighter note - updates and re-caps of Internet Week New York to come soon. But I just wanted to get back to my old - funny - lighthearted self for one moment and share the first "I Love NY moment" I've had since I've been back from Colorado. While walking from the F train to the L train at 14th street, two young guys serenaded me with Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel" for a whole block under ground. It was ridiculous and embarrassing but how can I not let a flattering, funny situation like that make my day?
Tête-à-Tête Tuesdays with Molly
I Heart Logos
Oooh, I might have to copy this idea since Oscar has completely destroyed my coffee table. Too bad I don't really drink beer but alas I just happen to have the cap from my Blue Moon bottle I had last night. Yeah, I had an odd craving for beer the other day. Must have been the Colorado influence.
P.S. Oscar totally bit my butt while I was writing this post. He's a weird one. Well.. he bit my back pocket. Close enough.
Don't Worry Ma, I Still Have My Sense of Humor
For the last few weeks, I have been trying to get my stuff back from my ex. I vaguely remembered leaving a Harry Potter book in an attempt to get him to read it (he didn't!!!) and especially wanting it back because it was my sister's book. But mostly, I forgot all about the other things. I wanted some sort of closure but who doesn't? So it was kind of annoying that it kept dragging on - and my friends asked, "Do you really need your stuff back?" To which I replied that that wasn't the point. It was the principal! Duh.
So this evening, the day had finally come when we were to meet. As I opened the bag (following 20 minutes of awkward conversation interrupted by Oscar's frequent attacks (I didn't train him, I swear!!)) - I realized... it was about my stuff! Well mostly... Stuff I totally forgot he had. Holy crap. I feel whole again as I leaf through my "150 Ways to Tell if You're Ghetto" book. I can now have a cathartic release watching old episodes of Sex and The City (yeah, he wouldn't watch those either). And realize that like the early history of New York City, my love life (and self) is constantly evolving but will eventually grow into something great. All the while asking myself One Hundred Questions so I can truly figure out who I am and what I want... Okay, so it did take a plate of penné allá vodka and glass of red wine to come to this happy conclusion. But c'est la vie.
This Happened
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gppbrYIcR80&hl=en_US&fs=1&&w=480&h=385]
