My Earth-Shattering Revelation About Tinder
I recently went on my first two Tinder dates - two different guys but oddly enough, both had the same name and were the same age. I was hesitant to try Tinder because I had heard it's "Grinder for straight people," i.e. just a hook up app. But a few months ago, I ran into someone who adamantly told me it had evolved into a regular dating app and he had met his girlfriend through it. I set up my profile and and selected the right pictures, then started swiping. And swiping. And swiping. And then discovered that in this very new world of Tinder, there are TINDER MEMES! I said TINDER MEMES! About every thirty swipes or so (don't judge me), one comes across a guy hugging a tiger. This is a thing. This thing has its own Tumblr. I don't even know where to begin. If I were an anthropologist, I'd say this is a very thinly veiled attempt to convey their masculinity and wealth in one single picture. I mean - I don't think they let you hug the tigers at the Bronx Zoo.
The funny thing about this supposedly revolutionary new dating tool is that in place of algorithms, witty profiles and the appeal of specific dating destinations, the process for choosing a match is actually more akin to real life. When you're at a crowded bar, you can't scan the room looking for someone whose wit catches your eye. Or find any clues regarding your compatibility other than subtle non-verbal cues related to someone's appearance.
Like real life, it has even become common practice on Tinder to acknowledge that you're attracted to someone but do absolutely nothing about it. Long-time users may have over 1,000 matches but have only spoken to a handful. It's like an unexpected flirtation on the subway with someone that ends the minute they get off at their stop. Perhaps it's the fear that the real life romantic version of them won't live up to what we've quickly allowed ourselves to imagine.
So how did my dates go? Well - on the first date, completely at a loss over what to say - I opened with,
"This is my first Tinder date. I thought it was a hookup app but someone told me that now it's a regular dating app."
I'm not one for subtleties. There was a long pause as my date searched for a tactful response. I fully expected him to respond by telling me it was a hookup app, and then promptly end the date. But instead the date proceeded in a way that tells me that there are still varying expectations of what it's for. It didn't go anywhere. The second date was not a match either but at least I discovered two new wine bars.
I've never had much luck meeting and dating guy I've met at bars and don't know women who have but perhaps Tinder is the equivalent of going bar hopping to find romance. We shall see...
Insight Into Whether or Not Men & Women Can Be "Just Friends"
What do you think?[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&w=420&h=315]
Men, Cats & Human Nature
Lately every other news story has been about a high powered politician cheating on his wife. This story has become so prevalent that people are starting to question the institution of marriage, arguing that it's simply human nature for men to want more than one partner. But the effects of their behavior can be devastating.Last week, I discovered an adorable kitten who came up to me as I was taking out the garbage. She was very persistent, begging me for food. So I ran up to my apartment and got some slices of turkey I had in the fridge. But then I couldn't find her. I asked a woman who was passing if she saw the cat and we both set out to find her. Our journey led us around the corner where we ran into a man who told us she was not a kitten, but rather, had five kittens of her own. Really puts ones problems in perspective when you meet a young cat living on the street with five mouths to feed.
Yesterday, I met the super who's yard the family of cats were living in. He told me that this was the third time this particular cat got knocked up and each time, she had a litter of 4-5 kittens. He had already taken in two and couldn't have any more cats. He was at the end of his ropes with the cat. I told him I'd take care of it. Later that night, I saw a large cat running full speed across the street, coming from the direction of the family of cats. He ran away from me, knowing what he had done and I scolded him, hoping he hadn't impregnated her once again. The animal shelter I had called earlier said it was unlikely she'd get adopted and the best they could do was spay her and release her. 
That same day, I had a chat with my new roommate who was subletting from one of my male roommates. She was stressed because her room was a mess and she had nowhere to put her clothes. She had a few cardboard boxes on the floor filled with clothing and proclaimed "He doesn't have drawers! How could you not have drawers?" Coincidentally, I have also had to make do without drawers, subletting from another guy. And I was equally as perplexed over how one could not have a set of drawers, particularly for their drawers. For men, it may be part of their animalistic nature, engrained in their very being to spread their seed. But we have evolved from mere animals. In New York, at least, we have evolved from simply surviving, to actually thriving. We're not living outside, or on the street, but in apartments where people have bedrooms, beds, desks, lamps, closets, and DRAWERS. Apparently, it takes having a woman to tell you that in order to be properly organized, you need a set of drawers. And men, you're not going to get that kind of advice from simply - "spreading your seed."
Does Sex Sell? A look at A&F
I've spent the last few days at my parent's house, going through all my worldly possessions and trying to get rid of things I don't use. I can proudly say I have three bags of clothing to donate on top of the two huge bags I donated a few months ago. I digress.
For years, I've had two racy Abercrombie & Fitch catalogs that I've been meaning to sell on eBay but can't remember the last time I actually looked through them. One was purchased the year I graduated high school, and then next, the year I graduated college. They definitely upped the ante for the 2003 version. I flipped through them with a perspective of someone who's lived in NYC for 5 years (i.e. have seen it all) and have worked in the photo industry, etc. etc. They still shocked me even in the world of True Blood, celebrities showing their vaginas and overt sexuality everywhere. There's no question that the Bruce Weber photographs are beautiful and sexy - but seriously, are they at all appropriate given A&F's target market? This year they've brought the catalogs back. Using overt sexuality and nudity to sell clothing to teenagers just seems lazy but this doesn't surprise me considering the clothing lacks imagination as well. I have a skirt that looks exactly like one of their skirts shown on their website - except it's in a garbage bag to be donated and is Gap circa 2007. And plaid? Really? A quick google search of A&F and the banned catalog revealed that their stock fell at the end of 2003. 
So hopefully I'm not being a total hypocrite by giving ya'll a taste of what I'm talking about but let's be honest - sex sells. I'd say these are NSFW but I'm assuming all of you are out for Labor Day weekend. Here's to America! And our labor force!
I kind of wonder if Ryan McGinley didn't just flip through a A&F catalog before he went out shooting. He's got that whole - beautiful, naked people running through the woods thing going at least. If you'd like to see more of these images, (and believe me, there are more) you can purchase the catalogs via eBay here and here. The 2003 version has a lot more nudity but the 1999 version is just as beautifully shot with interviews, etc. It was hard to let them go but I need to pay for things like - oh.. Miami Ad School, a new computer, living.. you get the idea.
One Night Stand Revenge
A friend of mine had a one night stand with a guy she met through friends. Yeah.. we've all done it. She doesn't do it very often so had trouble reconciling with the idea that it was just one night. And naturally, the guy turned out to be a jerk who sent her mixed signals; calling her and inviting her out but not showing up, not texting her back, and then texting her from another country. So in her anger and frustration she sent him this hilarious questionnaire.
1) When do you think it is appropriate to respond to emails?
a) Within 24hrs
b) After 2 weeks
c) While you are on vacation
d) Never
e) All of the above except a)
2) When do you respond to a text message?
a) After hanging out on the beach
b) Depending on what the subject is
c) Before Sex
d) 4th of July
e) All of the above
3) What is the right thing to do after a one night stand?
a) Make plans for the following week
b) Make sure you can’t get access to any private or public transportation
c) Take a long nap
d) Text the next day to explain yourself
e) All of the above
4) What do you say when you call after 2 weeks later, while you are on vacation?
a) Hope you're having a good summer
b) I don’t really know what to say
c) I don’t even know why I made this phone call
d) It's weird but I will leave her a message after all
e) All of the above
5) When you say you will call in a couple of days, what is going through your head?
a) couple = more than 2 days
b) few = at least 3 days
c) week = not sure
d) month = too many days to count… forget it
e) hmmm… did I really made that call?
Holy Vagina.
Oh. No. They Didn't. Via. Agencyspy. NSFW
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl60s1GLZCU&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1&w=425&h=344]
So. So. Unnecessary.