Weekend Web Guide
Just in case there's a moment this weekend where you actually want to spend time at your computer - you know - glued to it like it's a weekday- here's a short list of some of my favorite sites.For honest, entertaining and helpful relationship advice whether you're single or dating, check out The Date Report from HowAboutWe.
For gift ideas, fashion and all around regular inspiration for women, check out my favorite blog Cup of Jo by Joanna Goddard.
For a regular dose of creative inspiration, add Visual News to your RSS reader.
Cards on the Table
My life is getting to be something out of a movie. Definitely a comedy. This is totally embarrassing but I'll repeat the story anyway. On Sunday, I prepared for a run - first time running in a few weeks. I had just popped a small zit. Come on.. we all have them. And had a big blotchy red spot on my cheek. I thought it over for a minute. Do I cover it up? Will I run into anyone on the East River towards Carl Schurz Park? And a thought flashed in my mind. What if I ran into my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend (well at least I think he has a new GF). Then thought.. no, that would be ridiculous. So I headed out, realizing that eventually my whole face would be red from running. Mind you, I've had a fantastic few days so I think part of my thinking was just "fuck it." I'm going to San Francisco in October and got into an advertising program that I worked very hard to get into. I've been meeting some super duper awesome people lately and putting myself into good situations. These last few weeks/months have been the best I've had in years - I believe. I digress.
While on my walk over the bridge (presumably still with red blotch) some cute guy smiled at me. I'm assuming it was a flirtatious smile. So I thought.. okay, what ever has been going on with me has made me appealing even while sweaty and in running shorts. I pushed myself for a mile then walked through Carl Schurz Park. And then I saw him. My ex boyfriend. Alone - thank god. With a sketchbook. I stopped. Turned around and considered walking the other way. Then realized it was too late and that he saw me and that we'd have to talk. I threw up my hands in mock frustration and then walked towards him. We talked. It was awkward. I didn't tell him how amazing my life has been lately. And how I was radiating with happiness. Instead, I cut the conversation short and told him I'd be heading the other way, continuing my run. And then I ran like the wind. As cheesy as this seems. I ran like I was free, out of joy. Out of awesomeness. We met by running into each other essentially three days in a row (after having met eight months prior). While we were dating, we ran into each other on the subway. And now it's totally over and we ran into each other again. I believe in fate, but in this case, all I see is that there was a beginning, middle and an end.
Good night!
One Night Stand Revenge
A friend of mine had a one night stand with a guy she met through friends. Yeah.. we've all done it. She doesn't do it very often so had trouble reconciling with the idea that it was just one night. And naturally, the guy turned out to be a jerk who sent her mixed signals; calling her and inviting her out but not showing up, not texting her back, and then texting her from another country. So in her anger and frustration she sent him this hilarious questionnaire.
1) When do you think it is appropriate to respond to emails?
a) Within 24hrs
b) After 2 weeks
c) While you are on vacation
d) Never
e) All of the above except a)
2) When do you respond to a text message?
a) After hanging out on the beach
b) Depending on what the subject is
c) Before Sex
d) 4th of July
e) All of the above
3) What is the right thing to do after a one night stand?
a) Make plans for the following week
b) Make sure you can’t get access to any private or public transportation
c) Take a long nap
d) Text the next day to explain yourself
e) All of the above
4) What do you say when you call after 2 weeks later, while you are on vacation?
a) Hope you're having a good summer
b) I don’t really know what to say
c) I don’t even know why I made this phone call
d) It's weird but I will leave her a message after all
e) All of the above
5) When you say you will call in a couple of days, what is going through your head?
a) couple = more than 2 days
b) few = at least 3 days
c) week = not sure
d) month = too many days to count… forget it
e) hmmm… did I really made that call?
It's Not You..
I'm going to propose a particular insight/observation/scenario.. Say you're a young woman, have just entered your first major relationship, or at least first relationship in a long time. You weren't on on any birth control so you take whatever your friend has recommended. You've heard the rumors - it can lead to weight gain, some serious side effects, etc. but naturally, you figure, you won't get these. Or if you do, you'll notice immediately, will take charge of your health and promptly switch to another brand. About six months go by and you notice you're starting to turn into an emotional wreck. You rarely cry but suddenly you find yourself holding back tears during work. You wonder if the same type of stress you've been dealing with for years is finally starting to catch up on you. Or if there's something amiss in your relationship. You start becoming anxious, slightly neurotic, clingy, insecure and full of doubt, shirking your normal eating and exercise routines for less healthy activities. Suddenly, your emotions come to a head and start pouring out. This creates complete instability and you start examining your past mood swings over the last few months, realizing they were not, in fact, typical. You find pages and pages of complaints about the emotional side effects of the current brand of birth control you're using and are astonished, instantly making an appointment with your gyno to switch brands.
And then you start to wonder.. holy crap, you could have just broken up with your boyfriend, influenced by a drug that's supposed to enhance your sex life! And then you start thinking about it further.. if nearly every form of birth control by the nature of it being a hormone causes some sort of emotional change, then that's a whole crew of women who are feeling slightly off but not knowing why. The doctors and commercials discuss the weight gain but rarely discuss these other side effects. And then.. you start thinking on a broader scale - how many relationships have ended because of this little discussed side effect? How many women have been considered high maintenance? On top of that, what if they gained weight? That would certainly have an emotional effect. Anyway, thoughts? Do you think I'm on to something? My insights are on base? I just don't think that people recognize that taking something as mundane as birth control can have a serious effect on your well being.
Rejection
Me thinks that doing the rejecting is just as hard as being the one rejected. Okay, not just as hard or time consuming. It doesn't involve obsessively checking ones phone/ email and bouncing off theories to friends as to why said boy hasn't called. Instead of taking the guy/ ignore route, I'll carefully compose a text response politely explaining that while I enjoyed his company, it's not a match. What's worse? Why can't guys do this?
I've been disappointing my 5 fans with my lack of relationship/ love juicy tid-bits. And I will continue to do so. But I will say that it seems like I find guys who are a perfect match for me in theory- i.e. share similar values, my taste physically, have stuff in common, interesting, etc. But then we have no chemistry. Instead, I find chemistry with the close minded, conservative, jerkish, not terribly attractive guys. Do I have a problem? This is annoying. I'm not worried though, cause there are a lot of fish in the sea. See, haven't I come a long way!? Lots of smart fish I might add. Schools.