Insight Into Whether or Not Men & Women Can Be "Just Friends"
What do you think?[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&w=420&h=315]
Men, Cats & Human Nature
Lately every other news story has been about a high powered politician cheating on his wife. This story has become so prevalent that people are starting to question the institution of marriage, arguing that it's simply human nature for men to want more than one partner. But the effects of their behavior can be devastating.Last week, I discovered an adorable kitten who came up to me as I was taking out the garbage. She was very persistent, begging me for food. So I ran up to my apartment and got some slices of turkey I had in the fridge. But then I couldn't find her. I asked a woman who was passing if she saw the cat and we both set out to find her. Our journey led us around the corner where we ran into a man who told us she was not a kitten, but rather, had five kittens of her own. Really puts ones problems in perspective when you meet a young cat living on the street with five mouths to feed.
Yesterday, I met the super who's yard the family of cats were living in. He told me that this was the third time this particular cat got knocked up and each time, she had a litter of 4-5 kittens. He had already taken in two and couldn't have any more cats. He was at the end of his ropes with the cat. I told him I'd take care of it. Later that night, I saw a large cat running full speed across the street, coming from the direction of the family of cats. He ran away from me, knowing what he had done and I scolded him, hoping he hadn't impregnated her once again. The animal shelter I had called earlier said it was unlikely she'd get adopted and the best they could do was spay her and release her. 
That same day, I had a chat with my new roommate who was subletting from one of my male roommates. She was stressed because her room was a mess and she had nowhere to put her clothes. She had a few cardboard boxes on the floor filled with clothing and proclaimed "He doesn't have drawers! How could you not have drawers?" Coincidentally, I have also had to make do without drawers, subletting from another guy. And I was equally as perplexed over how one could not have a set of drawers, particularly for their drawers. For men, it may be part of their animalistic nature, engrained in their very being to spread their seed. But we have evolved from mere animals. In New York, at least, we have evolved from simply surviving, to actually thriving. We're not living outside, or on the street, but in apartments where people have bedrooms, beds, desks, lamps, closets, and DRAWERS. Apparently, it takes having a woman to tell you that in order to be properly organized, you need a set of drawers. And men, you're not going to get that kind of advice from simply - "spreading your seed."
"Dating" 3.0
Picture this. A new app comes out that's all the rage - at least if you're a nerd in the advertising/ tech community. We'll call this app "Color." Naturally, you try it out because you're curious. It takes you a good five minutes to realize this app can either attract stalkers, be used for dating or potentially expose you to some saucy material while you're sitting at work. A few pictures and comments later you realize you have a few admirers ... digital admirers that is. In fact, they're fighting each other for your attention and the chivalry that you've never seen in person suddenly comes out in their comments. A day later, one digital admirer outwits all the rest and you reveal a tidbit that shows your identity. Five minutes later, you get a Facebook request. As the old saying goes, curiosity usually gets the best of you - so you accept.In the weeks that follow, you have a series of back and forth Facebook messages with the intention of actually meeting in the flesh. Despite working for the same company, you haven't crossed paths. A slow response rate and abbreviated messages indicate that maybe he's not that interested. Okay.. you think. It's not like we've ever even met. You browse through a dating site wondering if you actually have time to date and spot an old message you sent to a dating profile weeks prior. It's him ... weird ... But he never responded. Hmm. A few days later there's no response to your message and you think whatever it was, it's over. But wait. He has just requested you on FourSquare.
Finally.. a moment you were completely unprepared for. It's a crazy day at work and you're running around, stressed and frazzled. And who do you run into - him of course. You can hear in his hello that he is pleasantly surprised. After one more round of Facebook messages, there's radio silence. A few weeks later, he has changed his relationship profile to "In A Relationship" which to my understanding, women have to practically withhold sex to get their boyfriends to do that or be dating for an extended period of time. So you wonder... is this what has become of "dating" in 2011? Dare I say dating 3.0? And you tell yourself that maybe next time, maybe you'll control your curiosity and not fall down the web 3.0 rabbit hole.
Cards on the Table
My life is getting to be something out of a movie. Definitely a comedy. This is totally embarrassing but I'll repeat the story anyway. On Sunday, I prepared for a run - first time running in a few weeks. I had just popped a small zit. Come on.. we all have them. And had a big blotchy red spot on my cheek. I thought it over for a minute. Do I cover it up? Will I run into anyone on the East River towards Carl Schurz Park? And a thought flashed in my mind. What if I ran into my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend (well at least I think he has a new GF). Then thought.. no, that would be ridiculous. So I headed out, realizing that eventually my whole face would be red from running. Mind you, I've had a fantastic few days so I think part of my thinking was just "fuck it." I'm going to San Francisco in October and got into an advertising program that I worked very hard to get into. I've been meeting some super duper awesome people lately and putting myself into good situations. These last few weeks/months have been the best I've had in years - I believe. I digress.
While on my walk over the bridge (presumably still with red blotch) some cute guy smiled at me. I'm assuming it was a flirtatious smile. So I thought.. okay, what ever has been going on with me has made me appealing even while sweaty and in running shorts. I pushed myself for a mile then walked through Carl Schurz Park. And then I saw him. My ex boyfriend. Alone - thank god. With a sketchbook. I stopped. Turned around and considered walking the other way. Then realized it was too late and that he saw me and that we'd have to talk. I threw up my hands in mock frustration and then walked towards him. We talked. It was awkward. I didn't tell him how amazing my life has been lately. And how I was radiating with happiness. Instead, I cut the conversation short and told him I'd be heading the other way, continuing my run. And then I ran like the wind. As cheesy as this seems. I ran like I was free, out of joy. Out of awesomeness. We met by running into each other essentially three days in a row (after having met eight months prior). While we were dating, we ran into each other on the subway. And now it's totally over and we ran into each other again. I believe in fate, but in this case, all I see is that there was a beginning, middle and an end.
Good night!
One Night Stand Revenge
A friend of mine had a one night stand with a guy she met through friends. Yeah.. we've all done it. She doesn't do it very often so had trouble reconciling with the idea that it was just one night. And naturally, the guy turned out to be a jerk who sent her mixed signals; calling her and inviting her out but not showing up, not texting her back, and then texting her from another country. So in her anger and frustration she sent him this hilarious questionnaire.
1) When do you think it is appropriate to respond to emails?
a) Within 24hrs
b) After 2 weeks
c) While you are on vacation
d) Never
e) All of the above except a)
2) When do you respond to a text message?
a) After hanging out on the beach
b) Depending on what the subject is
c) Before Sex
d) 4th of July
e) All of the above
3) What is the right thing to do after a one night stand?
a) Make plans for the following week
b) Make sure you can’t get access to any private or public transportation
c) Take a long nap
d) Text the next day to explain yourself
e) All of the above
4) What do you say when you call after 2 weeks later, while you are on vacation?
a) Hope you're having a good summer
b) I don’t really know what to say
c) I don’t even know why I made this phone call
d) It's weird but I will leave her a message after all
e) All of the above
5) When you say you will call in a couple of days, what is going through your head?
a) couple = more than 2 days
b) few = at least 3 days
c) week = not sure
d) month = too many days to count… forget it
e) hmmm… did I really made that call?
Dating = Energy
My friend and I had a four hour "conversation" via email yesterday (34 emails in total!) about the time and energy that dating takes out of us. I'm not even looking for anything right now because I could be across the country in a few months.. but alas.. somehow I fell into dating and all the stress that comes with it.
"A" commented that, "we put so much effort, time, and brainpower into thinking about the opposite sex - whether dating, trying to have sex, flirting, hooking up, etc. I wonder what people our age who are married or in long term relationships think about and use all that excess energy on."
To which I responded that they put all that excess energy into planning dinner parties and telling their single friends to stop looking/thinking about finding someone because they'll find them when they least expect it.
What do you think?
In other news - I've decided that my problem is that I get enamored with the idea of someone before I've really evaluated if we have a connection; i.e. the idea of dating an artist, or a writer, or a former musician, or a computer geek. Totally lame. I know. I do, however, try to stay open minded and don't turn down guys just because they don't fit my mold - if I even have a mold. Yeah, speaking of energy, I was totally putting all my energy into other things besides men for a bit. I'll work on getting back into that zone soon before I get too side tracked.
Don't Worry Ma, I Still Have My Sense of Humor
For the last few weeks, I have been trying to get my stuff back from my ex. I vaguely remembered leaving a Harry Potter book in an attempt to get him to read it (he didn't!!!) and especially wanting it back because it was my sister's book. But mostly, I forgot all about the other things. I wanted some sort of closure but who doesn't? So it was kind of annoying that it kept dragging on - and my friends asked, "Do you really need your stuff back?" To which I replied that that wasn't the point. It was the principal! Duh.
So this evening, the day had finally come when we were to meet. As I opened the bag (following 20 minutes of awkward conversation interrupted by Oscar's frequent attacks (I didn't train him, I swear!!)) - I realized... it was about my stuff! Well mostly... Stuff I totally forgot he had. Holy crap. I feel whole again as I leaf through my "150 Ways to Tell if You're Ghetto" book. I can now have a cathartic release watching old episodes of Sex and The City (yeah, he wouldn't watch those either). And realize that like the early history of New York City, my love life (and self) is constantly evolving but will eventually grow into something great. All the while asking myself One Hundred Questions so I can truly figure out who I am and what I want... Okay, so it did take a plate of penné allá vodka and glass of red wine to come to this happy conclusion. But c'est la vie.
Another Re-Post
Cause I'm too tired to re-cap my fairly awesome evening
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Men = Animals
Favorite quote of last night.
my guy friend: "It's like dangling bacon in front of a bear and expecting not to get mauled. You can't blame the bear."
me: But men are human and not animals. There is a different set of rules and code of society they need to live by."
my guy friend: "No there isn't. Guys are animals and you better be careful not to dangle the bacon."
Ponderings
Last night I dreamed that I had a baby and was all like.. "are you sure it's mine because I don't remember having sex recently or giving birth." Yeah.. sad that even my subconscious is aware of this fact. I won't say who the father was although I'm sure he'll be very happy to read this if he still checks out W&P. Hint.. yoga pants. According to online dream research, it means I'll be entering an exciting new phase in my life or taking on a new project "hence the birth." That seems about right with how I feel but according to my dream, I'm having trouble accepting this and moving forward.
Today, I also remembered that according to an old horoscope, August is supposed to be a good month for me romantically. Woohoo! I've got 18 more days to go boys! So far nothing yet although I did spot someone from my past on the train this morning. ooh lala. Also saw some guy walking through Union Square who I've met a few times before through a friend. He was wearing a suit. Yum. I'm a bit more hopeful and I knew the whole "Molly doesn't care about guys" thing would only last a month or two. I really did feel that way for a brief time due to the stress of the move. It's good to get back to my happy, flirtatious, adventurous self. Finally, as I was walking home, I spotted a guy who looked vaguely like my ex-boyfriend - enough for my heart to skip a beat in surprise (or fear). I casually walked closer to get a better look and he noticed me. So then he started giving me the eye and checking me out. Felt like it was a craigslist missed connection as I walked away and he got on a bus. But then was slightly disturbed by the idea that someone who looked vaguely like my ex-boyfriend would be the one to stare me down and be my missed connection.
Moving on. Tomorrow is like Friday for me! I'm going to Vermont with my best friend for a long and relaxing weekend. Sooo excited! I plan on writing, reading and relaxing although I realize I somehow have to carry all my shizzizzle back to Schmersey. And I may see Jack the cat! Then definitely Mischief and Lola. Exciting!
Rejection
Me thinks that doing the rejecting is just as hard as being the one rejected. Okay, not just as hard or time consuming. It doesn't involve obsessively checking ones phone/ email and bouncing off theories to friends as to why said boy hasn't called. Instead of taking the guy/ ignore route, I'll carefully compose a text response politely explaining that while I enjoyed his company, it's not a match. What's worse? Why can't guys do this?
I've been disappointing my 5 fans with my lack of relationship/ love juicy tid-bits. And I will continue to do so. But I will say that it seems like I find guys who are a perfect match for me in theory- i.e. share similar values, my taste physically, have stuff in common, interesting, etc. But then we have no chemistry. Instead, I find chemistry with the close minded, conservative, jerkish, not terribly attractive guys. Do I have a problem? This is annoying. I'm not worried though, cause there are a lot of fish in the sea. See, haven't I come a long way!? Lots of smart fish I might add. Schools.
And
Boo. It's totally making me want a boyfriend. Despite everyone thinking I have lesbian tendencies (I know, weird right?), I can relate to Bella's strong attraction towards Edward's perfectly chiseled physique. Wow. Did I just write that? Yeah. So like I said, I can relate. That burning desire to have someone who is "forbidden" holding you with their strong arms. Wait. Um. Just kidding. I totally said I was going to focus on just photography and not my dating life. Or lack of.
TV
It appears that my cable isn't working. I haven't checked it in an hour.. am sort of avoiding bad news. Maybe it's God's way of telling me to read a book. But every time I try and read, I get sleepy. It's too bad I'm too tired/ lazy to do all the stuff I've been meaning to do but haven't had enough time. I'm keeping the schedule of a cat. Sleeping 17 hours a day.. okay. Maybe that's an exaggeration.
Just saw the latest episode of Ugly Betty online. I'm totally in love with her new love interest. Completely adorable. Totally my taste. Did some research on him but the guy, Daniel Eric Gold, doesn't have any information about himself on IMDB. Don't know where he's from, how old, if he's gay or straight. I'm still searching. Maybe once he's a regular on the show, they'll put more info. Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing more of him.
Aside from sleeping, eating, drinking, sleeping, and watching TV, I also bought things on Amazon. I had a $150 gift certificate from various sources. Believe it or not, it actually took me about an hour to figure out what to buy. I bought a coffee maker, a few books, a Klean Kanteen to compare to my Sigg bottle. A portable coffee mug, and few other odds and ends. It wasn't enough for me to buy big ticket items like a new camera or photo gear but still a lot of money. I'm looking forward to my coffee maker even though it will mean limiting my stagnant relationship with the cute Mud truck guy. I suppose I can go once a week.
Good Morning!
I'm in that annoying state between awake and slightly hung over and too tired/ lazy to actually get up. AND I walked about a mile in my highest pair of heels so the prospect of walking, even in my new Chucks, is rather intimidating. Is it wrong that I let my responsibilities get in the way of my sex life? Am I the only girl that would prefer NOT to go home with someone at 4 am mainly because I have so much shit to do the next day. Hooking up is fun, but then the next day there's way too much wasted time. Usually guys want to sleep in later. So you're looking at noon. Then they want to inevitably go for round two the next morning. So maybe now you're talking about leaving their apartment/ kicking them out around 1ish. Then on top of that, you most likely didn't get any sleep or at least quality, so you need another hour. Now all of a sudden, you're not seeing the light of day and leaving your apartment until 3pm. And let's not even talk about the walk of shame. Having to put those painful heels back on, take a cab ride, etc.
That being said, it's nearly noon. I'm going to get off my lazy ass and go wander. And perhaps ponder about my fun night last night.